The DNA Test

Before my biological mother returned to Korea, my sister asked if we could take a DNA test together. It wasn’t unexpected. She had been carrying a painful question for years. A woman had told her, when she was already an adult, that we weren’t real sisters and that she was half Chinese. It happened only a few years before I started searching for our family, and it shook her. She wasn’t sure if she had been lied to, and she needed closure before she could move forward.

So the three of us, my mom, my sister, and I, took a DNA test before my mom left. We did it to settle the doubt that had been planted in her mind and to give her the answers she deserved.

After my mom returned to Korea, some time passed before the results came in. Then something unexpected happened.

My sister called me, crying so hard she could barely get the words out. When she finally managed to speak, she told me that the results showed that the three of us were truly blood related. Every bit of doubt that had followed her for years disappeared in that moment.

We were sisters by blood.

Not just by adoption.

Not just by being raised together.

We were truly connected.

Hearing that felt like another twist in a life that has been one big roller coaster. I never imagined any of this happening in my lifetime. To find my biological mother, to reunite with her, and then to learn that my sister and I were truly blood sisters felt like blessing after blessing.

But even with all those answers, there is still one part of my story that weighs on me. My biological father. I know what I know from my mom, but there is a part of me that wants to meet him and his family, even if the truth is complicated or painful.

There is another part of me that is afraid.

Afraid of what I might learn.

Afraid of reopening old wounds.

Afraid of finding something I am not ready for.

I bought a DNA kit three years ago. It has been sitting there ever since. I look at it sometimes and think about all the answers it could bring. But I also think about everything it could change.

One day I will be ready.

I just don’t know when.