Before America: My Life in Korea

I was born in a small home in Seoul, South Korea. My mother was very young, and she relied on my grandmother for help because my biological father moved in and out of her life without warning. When he left for good, she was completely on her own with two small children.

She had to take whatever work she could find.

The job she eventually got required her to live inside the factory.

It was not a normal job where you work and then go home.

Once she walked through those doors, she often could not leave until her shifts were over, and the shifts were extremely long. There were small beds lined up for the workers to sleep in, and the rules were strict. It controlled her time, her freedom, and her ability to care for her children. It felt more like being confined than being employed.

She was stuck inside that building for days at a time, barely earning enough to survive.

She could not come home to feed me.

She could not hold me.

She could not be present in the way she wanted to be.

Because of the stress and lack of nutrition, her milk dried up.

Formula was too expensive for our family to afford.

My grandmother did everything she could, but she was older, caring for two young children, and trying to stretch food that simply was not enough.

My mother knew I was losing weight. She knew I was hungry.

She cried because she could not leave work to come to me.

It was breaking her.

This is the reality that pushed my grandmother into a corner she never wanted to be in. She was watching my mother work in conditions that took away her freedom, her health, and her ability to care for us. Watching me starve was destroying her.

This is why she felt she had no choice.