Reuniting in America

Once ESWS confirmed that they had located my biological mother and that she wanted to reunite, the next step was figuring out how we would meet. At the time, my husband and I had just had a baby, and traveling to Korea with a newborn would have been extremely difficult. On top of that, it would have been very expensive for my entire family and my sister and her family to fly across the world.

So instead of all of us traveling to Korea, we decided the best option was to fly my biological mother and her husband to America. It was something we were grateful to be able to do, and it allowed the reunion to happen in a place where my family felt safe and settled.

Her neighbor happened to be an English teacher, which changed everything. With her neighbor’s help and translation apps, we were finally able to communicate directly without relying on the adoption agency. It gave us our first real sense of connection, even before meeting in person.

When my biological mother and her husband arrived in America, the emotions were overwhelming. We were complete strangers and family at the same time. There were a lot of tears, long pauses, and moments where none of us knew exactly what to say. The language barrier was real, but we communicated however we could. Sometimes through words. Sometimes through gestures. Sometimes through simple understanding.

My mother was embarrassed and anxious. She worried that I might hate her. She worried that I would blame her for everything that happened when I was a child. And for the first time, she shared how much pain she had carried. She told me that after losing us, she had tried to take her own life. The guilt and grief were overwhelming, and she believed she had failed us. She never thought she would have a chance to speak to us again.

Hearing that was heartbreaking, but it helped me understand her reality in a deeper way. She was not someone who walked away from her children without feeling anything. She had been living with a wound for decades. She showed incredible courage by choosing to reunite after all those years.

She had kept her past a secret her entire adult life. Even her current husband, the man she eventually married, never knew she had two daughters before meeting him. She had carried that secret alone because the pain was too heavy to speak about. Yet he treated her with kindness and understanding. Even after learning the truth, he stood right by her side.

The reunion was emotional, complicated, and full of moments we will never forget. It was the beginning of rebuilding something that had been broken for more than thirty years.